I always seem to start these journals with what irritates me, or I start out writing these by having on mind something that grinds my gears. Sometimes it’s really easy to ignore those and just focus on me and what I like. But other times, like the past few days, the things that irritate me seem to be all I can focus on.
Anything from content mill writers using their platform to talk about how blessed they are to be dating military, to YouTube ads, to current events. A lot of things about the amorphous entity that is ‘today’ annoy the fuck out of me. In brief, they all concern identity.
I’m finding that the things I’m concerned about keep circling back to that: identity. Your place, as you see it, as everyone else sees it. Everybody in the world has their own special struggle with themselves over this, and increasingly I’m becoming interested with the idea of representation. This has led to a poem titled “Alter Egoes” that I’ve recently written. I never really touch political/current events stuff, but I hit it pretty squarely with this one. In a world where everyone is a super hero, and must form leagues to uphold their beliefs as their identity, yet hiding behind their masks. Should sound familiar.
But enough about things that annoy me, let’s talk about stuff that’s good for once! After all, it is most certainly the season in the Pacific Northwest to be thinking about what we’re all thankful for.
Honorable mention to Kirke, you phantasmagorical thing, before all else.
I’m playing the hell out of Titanfall 2 again, that’s a lot of fun. Destiny 2 has somewhat let me down like the first one did before its first big content drop so I’m seeing a similar trajectory here. Even as I get older, acquiring more fun responsibilities and with less and less time to sit down and game, I have to somewhat appreciate getting out of classes at 8 PM and have the night to kill if I want to.
Shout out to $AMD for picking up 60 cents since last week, that makes for part of a delicious can of Arizona tea. I should mention that neither AMD nor Arizona sponsor my website. Nobody sponsors my fucking website.
While we’re at it, I’d like to say thank you to the corner store by Pierce College for cutting my lunch run time in half. Little known fact about me is that I religiously time my activities. Kinda like how I’m concerned with identity, I’m very much concerned with time and what it does. So I always leave my home 30 minutes before I’m expected to arrive if I’m going someplace in the city. Makes sure I get there early.
Along the same vein, I’d like to thank Megadeth for Countdown To Extinction and Blood of Heroes. Good damn songs to listen to on the drive back from Bellingham.
I’d like to thank biology for making sex a thing. Sex is pretty great.
The heater vent connected to my room is now uncovered and blows hot air into my freezing room. Used to be, my mattress sat directly atop it. It wasn’t as much of a fire hazard as you’d think, but what it did was essentially prevent that heat from travelling anywhere but the bed. So my bed was REAL fucking hot while the rest of my room was reverse-puberty cold. I’ve since rearranged my room so I can get warm, safely and effectively!
Oooh! Oooh! Rhymes! I love rhymes. Even if at first I listed ‘time’.
And I love November. Oh, man, we got some snow a few days ago, which must mean it’s going to be a very silvery winter. Very cold, very long, and very yes. Yes yes yes, I love winter A L M O S T as much as I love fall. The transition between the two is when some real magic happens.
Camera’s been out and ready to shoot all season, and now that winter’s back I’m getting some good shots of snow. Which is sort of a weird subject for photography, but hey it’s definitely SFW.
What else is new since the last journal… oh yeah, that thing. Got a new laptop. Latitude E7270, with the catch that I’m trying to learn the newest iterations of Linux instead of sticking with Windows like the laptop I’m currently writing this on is. If you’ve never tried Linux before, don’t! You’re probably expecting a slightly more technical version of Windows XP, and you’d be wrong. So that’s a thing, increasing my net worth but not my stock portfolio worth since $MAT has dropped two dollars in a week.
There’s that poem I mentioned before, Alter Egoes, but that will not be the excerpt this journal, since it’s going to be from “Sweet Business”:
Happy to be
About my first experience with flying, when I went to Cali this past month. My political stuff like Alter Egoes and to a higher extent Blame Me are ignored. Just as well. Just gathering more steam for some kind of poetic rupturing.
That stuff to write always puts a bad taste in my mouth. Nearly like I’m ashamed to feel like I’m thinking the way I am and committing to paper or binary code thoughts of mine that might not resonate with others. I think that’s on the part of a very sensitive population that makes me worried I’ll offend somebody.
Which is a shitty thing. Today r/incels got shut down on Reddit, and I do not in any way condone any of the awful, vile things people said on that subreddit, but I also don’t agree with it being shut down. I’d rather people be loud, be judged, and let the rest of us move on. If you haven’t noticed, I err more on the side of expression than censorship, that’s kind of my whole thing.
Hiding isn’t reality, until it needs to be, it seems. Well hopefully talking about what I’m thankful for lessens the irritation that’s consumed some of my writing recently. I’d like to return back to romantic/abstract/fantastic writing, thanks.
Jake Thomas Shaw from Radio Reality City, saying your titan’s ready to drop, pilot. Standby for titanfall!
Consume reality! Radio Reality City! Thanks for tuning in!