Hoping

I’ve been
Flipping through
My notebook
Hoping that

I’ll come across
Cute notes you’ve
Left behind for
Me but blank pages

Are all I
Come across
So forlorn
So hopelessly

Id

Activate a miserable Wednesday
And wake up Thursday in the war room

No longer quaking
No longer puking
No longer panicked
No longer frantic

A shadow in a man
Waiting within
Made of malediction
And vindication
Some kind of sinister
Emotion wells inside

Thursday in the war room
I was wearing armor you made
For me
To fight inevitablity of the day

It had cracked and splintered
And the forces that be had then
Compelled me to split and crack
And deform to attack
The sadness welling within
That dared to well up again

I wouldn’t let it, so through
My helmet burst tendrils
Of old gods to smite the thoughts
That the pain had caused

Splattering my head against steel
Smashing my chest, so it could steal
The last motions of my living body
And keep it standing so bloody

It was already tomorrow,
Said I,
Yesterday, said the cosmos,
And then it was

Two days multiplied
Four days longer
Than the quantum pathways
Could have ever ensnared

I couldn’t cry more than I had
I couldn’t be any more mad
Already had left all my guts
Swirling the drain of my shower
After the stress became too much
And my armor was punctured

Not a knight in shining armor
Dressed by a possessed tailor

Damn right I wasn’t
I was berserk with no honor
Scrapping for the means
To wake up tomorrow

For whatever it means
Miserable Wednesday died two ways
And one was waking up
Thursday in the war room
Where I lived each,
In instants, pathway

Another uncertain world of id and ego
Struggles in combat to pick
Where the pathway goes
Only two options, but still so much
I hope the answer will merge
These two throes

Get A Fix

I don’t have a backbone
Feels like it’s broken
Because everything hurts

Infrastructure
Damaged beyond repair
Potholes of despair
Popping tires

The only aid I seek
Tonight is to fix
My back
And wander the bleak

One two three four
Keep your feet
On the floor

Five six seven eight
Keep dancing and
Don’t float away

Gone am I on this
Endless sea
So shall we see
Night lights
Of the city

You could notice
My pupils pulse
As I’m injected
With the energy

The vibe
Haze
Energy
Whatever you call it

I’m glazed over
And taken over
In a trance

I am the
Calmest maniac
Among the hidden
Freak kingdom
Denizens

I hear the glow
Of bumping backlit
Windows
And see the bass
Of voices’ faces

Every sidewalk
Looks the same
Micrograms of powder
Glide and sway
To the trance’s power
Guiding the way

A fix in the concrete
Somewhere beneath me

Walking until
My back can’t
Take it any more

To get a fix
Is this euphoria
In utopia?

A lighthouse beam
Reaches the other
Side of this bay

Calling the curious
And paving the way
Through the waves

Skullsplitter

Skullsplitter

Falling down
Onto a
Linoleum floor,

Can feel the
Cold tile
Reach through
The scalp.

Tough masonry
Scrapes bone
With no mercy.

Ice crushes
Through
Warmth.

Shocked
Unconscious.

Laid out

Icy tile
Holding,
Lulling
To sleep.

Catalogue

catalogue.JPG

Catalogue

The house is empty
Of people
But belongings
And two dogs
Needing to be
Looked after
In two stories

Six seasons pass
In a day

The suburb is
Fenced off
From the backyard

Time seems
To stand still
Inside

The weather
Hits the windows
And rays and drops
Wick away

One of the dogs
Is silly and stupid
But is terrifying
And doesn’t know it

The other is regal
And cunning
And always watching
With concern

They watch the watchers
Come and go

They watch the weather
Wick away

And the faces that have
Abandoned this
Brick-by-brick mansion
Like passing rain

Hurricanes
Come and go

Sun shines when
They go missing
To break the thrill
Of stormsurfing

Then the dogs bark
At passersby
In the neighborhood

Unbeknownst to them
The house
Is stocked
For survival

Threadbare
For nothing
But existing
And persisting

Throughout calamities
Its abstract fantasies
Contained by fences and
Department store paint

Ordered by magazine the
Boxes stock and cargo
By the front door
To be opened later

No expiration dates

Nothing chips the
Exterior paint

No stones dare crack
Any windows

Or widowmakers smash
Into rooftop gutters

The water heater never
Runs out of heat

Having dinner at noon
And waking up at one

Not recalling any a.m.
Or rejecting any p.m.

Or the beat
Of dog’s pacing
Never ceasing to be
Heard in the rafters

Watching the weather
Watching the seasons

The caretaker’s
Eyes
Are bloodshot

In case an intruder
Prowls by
The fence
With a burlap sack
Over its face

Ordering parts
By magazine
To add more paint
Or widowmakers

Every tree branch
A bullet striking
The shingles ordered
From the magazine
And nailed on
With assault hammers

More nails are found
In the bedroom safe
And scattered clips
Around downstairs

Both dogs don’t know
So they bark anyways

They don’t know
That the caretaker
Will always return

They don’t know
That it isn’t the same
As they grow bigger
And words
Get rarer

Just have to order
More words
To have someone drive
To visit and give them
What they mailed
For

Walls go missing
When widowmakers
Break the gutters

And rain spills in

And the wind blows

Where glass shards
Caltrop the carpet

And no one has
Words to record it

The skylight is
Taken

Vines creep inside

Both dogs
Bark unceasingly
And pace
To await the
Caretaker

When he arrives
To fix things
Again

In between
Calamities

Ladder Cage

Ladder Cage

Dust in the wind
Far below the surface

At the ground level of a chasm
With many stories

We drop all the broken things here
That we’ve made

To give us the light to see
Another place outside that’s full of

All the grander things
That we’ve made