Terror Suit

We introduce O2
Through tubes
Fed by two
Canisters

To cut down on
Panic-induced
Breathing patterns
Such as hyperventilating

In the presence of
Something that illicits
Fear, we’ve made it so
Anxiety is a non-issue

This contains stress
As well as the air
Conditioning system
We’ve fitted to hotspots

After testing and distressing
We’ve fitted coolant tanks
To target the legs, chest,
And head when the wearer sweats

This in effect makes
Each environment
As comfortable
As can be

That’s not even to detail
Vaporous epinephrine
Drip fed through the
O2 tubes

Not much a rebreather
As an extreme-breather
The Terror Suit
Is build to destroy chainsaws

A layer of chainmail
Even armors against
Slashing weapons with an
Anti-strangulation neck guard

Fitted to the torso
With recent studies
Suggesting it, we’ve even
Included a defib unit

All built-in, mind you

Links of the titanium mail
Insulated by kevlar
Will stand up to meat hooks
And machetes alike

Made to give the wearer
A fighting chance
Against beasts of beasts
And to keep your compsure

Reccommended you take
A weapon of your choice
To carry as you don the
Nightmare armor

May we suggest our
Terror Stick 2000?
Blessed by elders
Of every major religion

With these two items
You’re sure to stand up
To stress induced under
The knives of slashers

For only $9,990 plus tax!

Leave a Reply