Ten/Four Apology

Ten/Four Apology

I’ve toiled for some time now

Every time I tell you I’m sorry
There’s something

I can’t capture the magnitude
Or the legitimacy
Of what I feel to say I’m sorry for

But you’ve listened before
Heard me say the words
In varying levels of aggravation

Yet I toil
And blame
And mask my façade
With small talk

Tomorrow is an important day
An anniversary

It would have been that way
Long ago if I hadn’t created

And you’ve listened to me say
The words
Earnestly and thoughtfully

But I can’t see through you

I want to see so badly
I want to be sorry so much more

I want this guilt to mount and build
Up until I can take you to the sky
To look down and think
How little everything else is

I want to find the limit
Of an apology

Even though you’ve forgiven
Me many times before
Its always lacked
Something more

I can’t tell you how sorry I am
I can’t have you understand
Or perceive
What I see in you

My regret is often questioned
As to whether or not it’s misdirected

Should I be sorry for my actions?
Or sorry that I can’t show
My ultimate apology
To you in its entirety?

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