That One Guy

That One Guy

Pussy willow.
And so what if it’s meant sexually?
Sorry if that offends you,
If you can’t handle normality.

Noun: a small domesticated cat.
Noun: derogatory for vaginal flaps.
Noun: a small shrub or bush.
Noun: a machine for cleaning cloth.

Actually, no apologies.
I’m rather not.
Don’t care at all
If I offend your lot.

Pussy willow
Doesn’t mean anything sexual.
Thinking it does
Is your fault.

So I’m shameless.
So I’m a dreg.
So I don’t care.
So I’m a fag,

Or so I’ve been called
And learned to shove off.
I don’t give a shit,
I’ve told them all the fuck off.

Funny they don’t believe me
As I jeer at their faces.
Doesn’t bother me at all,
They don’t deserve my good graces.

How can I possibly be
The loudest, most vocal,
Diabolical, god damned
Indifferent person you’ve all seen?

I’m not infamous,
Nor am I deviant,
And it seems like I’m somehow
“That one guy” to everyone.

From knee-high boots
To wearing sunglasses indoors,
What the fuck else do I have
To show for myself?

I would call myself friends with
So many, but I don’t lie
And when’s the last time they asked
For my shoulder to cry on?

Why am I so well known?
Just because I am the one
Who finds it in them
To tell any hard truth?

Is it funny, motherfuckers,
Have you had quite enough?
Taking some time for a
Formally-worded rebuff?

It has to be a spectacle
When I get loud and shouty, and
It has to be some staged bullshit
When I get uninterruptable.

I can’t remember how many
Times I’ve been asked if I was high.
And every cocking time I have
To viciously glare and ask “Why?”

Is it impossible for me,
Just another human being,
To simply be happy to be here
And be amused by all life?

I can’t laugh at your impediments,
Or obvious jokeable detriments?
Seriously, don’t be a little bitch.
We all want to laugh, don’t have a fit.

Jesus Christ, everyone takes things
Too seriously. No one can
Take a joke anymore, and if they
Do it’s not in the right way.

These hypersensitive pricks
Squirm in their seats.
God, you’re all so grey to me.
Just get up and leave,

If you’re so uncomfortable.
But if you didn’t give a shit
To begin with,
You wouldn’t still be listening.

So I posit to you all again
Who are still here,
To come and have
A laugh with me.

Just let loose, god dammit,
Let loose you hypersensitive pricks!
Quit thinking so much!
Stand up, cause I want to hear

You miserable people
Grow thick skin
You sons of bitches, get loud
And expose your grins.

Whatever they may be
Let your voice be seen,
And don’t allow me
To represent your scene.

Find your spines
Rolling around the barrios,
Stick those right back in
And take to the will at your whim.

But first, you shout those first two
Humorously fucked up words.
You miserable people, come on, now.
Be happy for once
And shout those funny fucking words
Pussy willow!

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