Today I crossed over through the point of no return into a series of commitments that I believe are going to be worth it. In other words, I’m moving on from Year Three properly.
I’ve been prepping my manuscript for Copper Canyon Press and having a fun time of finding out new tricks about word processors that I never knew before. I seriously used to make tables of content by hand. Now look at me! I know how to format those in OpenOffice (superior to Microsoft Word because it’s free).
So my manuscript used to be called “Red Men” but I have come to realize how weak the poem itself and the title really is. Pretty damn generic and not evoking anything verbose or fantastical, so there’s been a change. The “Red Men” collection is now the “Lithium Autumn” collection! Booyah! That’ll turn some heads. And I’m having some beta readers go over the content so I’m not submitting a complete failure! (Thank you so much, Ivy!)
Off the heels of visiting Highland, you better believe I’m writing about the place. It takes some time to let it all set in once I’ve gathered up all I’ve typed and photographed and thought of to get going. Once I gain steam, I don’t really stop. Most subjects I tackle are abstract, too, so it forces me to think about how to represent that in a poem. Like a cipher! That’s pretty weird, as a subject, but of course the poem is going to be encrypted when I’m done with it.
It’s weird how everything snaps into perspective after so long using manual focus. That’s the metaphor I’m going with. But try to use manual focus on a camera, and you’ll find that it’s a ton of freedom to choose what’s focused on, but when you flip that switch to go auto focus, the most important thing in the frame gets all the attention. That happened to me today.
Thinking about California and some new commitments I’m taking on. Thinking about the distance between here and there, the airplane ride, and new loves here at home. It’s one of those weeks where the hits don’t stop coming, so excuse me if I talk about identity a lot.
Kirke is going to be my girlfriend’s pseudonym from here on, I think. Try and figure that one out! I thought I was terribly clever when I came up with it. Just wanted to mention that she’s great and all that. I’m sure she knows and might even read this, so hey! Hi there! Hope you’re enjoying this melodramatic bullshit that’ll follow.
So let’s talk about the title of this journal, moving on. I’m going to preface this by saying I think it’s important to keep identity in mind, but not really. You might have to doublethink this one.
Too long; didn’t read: you should be proud of who you are because no one else is. Get it? Helluva weird sentence, I know. You can read that one a couple of ways, and I’ll let you decide how. I take it to mean: having an ego is healthy. No one else is living your life, so you should. There’s a more common version out there that says you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. I think it’s important to keep in mind.
You aren’t a silent picture because no one’s listening to you. You’re a silent picture because you aren’t holding a conversation.
When you move on from something it means you might leave a piece of your identity behind, but I think you can capture it. I’m definitely guilty of that. With the doublethink part of it, nothing is forever.
I like to capture what I can, because eras come and go. Few things are truly constant.
Anyways, just a quick update from myself at Radio Reality City. There’s a lot I still can’t talk about, but hey, I have an outlet here and in my poetry. Hopefully I can do that soon.