If I Could Be Any Age – Unadulterated

if i could be any age

This page looks like it’s been put through the wringer. Transcript: “If I could be any age I would want to be seven because being young rocks. You can get more toys than grown-ups, like race car tracks, star wars legos, police kit. Anyway I’m just saying that being young rocks!”

Oh boy. This one’s going to be fun to pick apart, I think. So if I was 7 back when this was written, I was in second grade. It would have been the year 2004. Man, if only I knew that we were getting knee deep into the war on terror, huh?

It’s interesting reading this now and thinking about what my teacher must have thought reading this. This could possibly be the product of innocence. I would look hungrily at toys when I was in the market with my mom. Walmart, Kmart, Big Lots plastic toys filled with cheap circuits and LEDs would always catch my eye without fail. Funny how as I’ve grown up I’ve come to hate marketing.

But it was those $12 play guns that always got my eye. It’s a damn shame, but I really hope those two-bit toy mills feel like they pulled one over on a 7 year old.

“Being young rocks,” I urge my teacher, Mrs. Hrovat. It smacks of ignorance. But it could also make someone feel bad depending on how old they are. Would I want to be 7 again now? Hell no. That should be an answer anyone comes up with to that question.

I wanted race car tracks and toy police sets. Now I own a god damn riot shield and a baton, in addition to some actual militaristic collectibles. Some of the real thing. And along the way I’ve come to understand industry and other aspects of life totally invisible to a 7 year old. Innocence is synonymous with ignorance. Joji has a good piece on this: “In this age of the internet, ignorance is a choice. And they’re still choosing ignorance.”

Maybe people just want to remain innocent for as long as they can. I don’t share that sentiment, for I’d rather be aware of as much of my surroundings as I can. Life is a little too fickle to not know of many variables.

I remember not knowing at all what was going on on 9/11. All I knew is that my parents got me from school early that day. We were outside our house later that night, and my parents told me to look up at the sky to notice there were no airplanes flying. Being close enough to LAX and an Air Force base, that was impossible under any other circumstance.

So much I wasn’t aware of. Oh, 7 year old me, I’d love to tell you where you’d be now, but if I did I would probably use my time travel capability a lot smarter than that.

PLUS there’s a fucklot of experience between those 13 years you have to go through to become that same person at the end of the journey. Ongoing journey, anyways.

Because instead of Star Wars legos, I can go on a date to see The Force Awakens in theaters. Pretty cool, second-grade me. You’ve come a long way.

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