Five years ago I never would have thought I’d be here in Washington State, that’s for damn sure. It was a place my family visited every so often, in between regular camping trips. I always thought it was cold, nondescript, and nothing really special.
Even a year ago, I didn’t quite know what there was to do around here, in Puyallup.
I always say my life started when we moved up here because it really did. All the really, actually cool things that became a part of me happened up here. All my major relationships, all the cool experiences, all the memories made happened here.
It’s funny that given that sense of perspective, I can say that I don’t know where else I could be. From Puyallup, to Lakewood, to Seattle, to Tacoma, to Olympia, to Edgewood, to Bellingham, to North Bend, to Federal Way, to Ruston. That’s a lot of coverage right there.
All places in which some serious memories were and are being made.
It’s strange to think how much can change in an instant, how many pathways can open and close along the road. It’s frightening in all kinds of ways but so exciting at the same time. So much to happen, so much that has happened, and no way forward but to keep making those memories with memorable people.
Five years ago I was a 14 year old boy living in San Bernardino, California. As I wrote in the poem Unaware of the Stakes, I was truly unaware of what it all meant. Now I claim to have an idea of what this whole journey means, what Radio Reality City means, but I’m not quite sure yet, I don’t think. Not entirely.
As I’ve typed this out, we have finally crossed the threshold. I am now in the company of 200 listeners! Thank you all so much for making this happen, and thank you all for, you know, still being here and stuff and reading and enjoying any pieces of this experience you do. Thank you to Syed Hubdar Kazmi of shkazmi237.wordpress.com for making that number 200 for me. Go check out their stuff!
This is what I mean, though, even a year ago I didn’t think I’d get to this point, as tiny of a goal as it is. 200 people in one room would look like a hell of a lot more than 200 people online. Comparing myself to any big name doesn’t help, because it’s all about the little victories right now. This is a little victory.
5 years ago did I think I was even going to be a poet? Living in Washington? Not in the slightest.
Did I think I was going to grow up to be someone I wanted to be? Not at all.
It’s all in the made memories. Not exactly the past affecting the future, but it’s the combined experiences leading up to… this. Whatever this is. Life.
In fact, I used to base my life’s eras around who I was with at the time. See, as I considered my life as starting when we moved up here, and I met my first girlfriend basically immediately afterwards, I’ve been a serial monogamist up until my second to last major relationship. No time to not associate my life with someone else. So it was that I had those major relationships that each featured a different me.
Maybe it’s about time I start basing my life’s eras around myself, independent of anything else.
Relationships, money, poetry, music, cities, night life, staying out, who knows what else. And this is just the beginning. It’s just kind of cool, but that’s coming from a guy who can be happy about pretty much anything. Every season is my favorite season, even, though autumn still has an extra special place in my heart.
This journal’s excerpt is from “Dry Blood”, about the change in seasons from fall to winter:
“For what morning is
A conflict of
Frost and fire
As the near dark shades
Die to the blade
And sun breaks branches
Through leaves to stain
With the idea of dry blood being the dead leaves, this poem also ties in to my Switchblade poem, about the sun. So check it out, maybe.
Writers often use the changing of seasons to symbolize the stages of life or mood they find themselves in. With spring being a birth, summer being innocence, autumn being somber years, and winter being ultimate ends. I keep going back to it, though, I don’t know why. I’m definitely not applying it to my own life, though. If you want to know the truth, most of my major impactful life events have revolved around autumn, which is why I love the season so much. It’s got associations to me.
This summer is shaping up to be pretty cool, however. It’s growing on me as a season, so maybe there will be some lovely summer poems coming from me.
In other news I turn 20 tomorrow. Which is crazy, still. Never thought I’d make it this far!
I hope with age comes maturity and more expression of the bubbly nihilist I’ve been described as. I was once called “the most anti-liberal liberal” by my sister. I took it as a compliment.
Keeping with the theme of eras of my life, I recently took a look at some photos of me when I had long hair… and can solemnly say I’m glad that whatever phases I had in high school are over.
As my clock is just starting to get going, I’m listening to Xilent’s “Is There Time” and Washed Out’s “Feel It All Around”.
I can’t help but wake up excited every day, these days. I have a job, prospects, a massive set of developments in the field I am interested in, people I very much enjoy being around, opportunities to get out of the house, and just good damn music! What more can someone ask for?
Welp, it’s about time we get back to posting things. Hope you’ve enjoyed!
And once again: WE DID IT! 200 people! That’s so… unprecedented. I hope we can get going on more! How far can I take this thing?
If you’re just tuning in on your blogroll, stop on by https://radioreality.city for some art and stuff.
There are so many more memories to be made, so tune in, drop out, and have a lovely day!