Guilty Pleasure – Journal 6/4/17

Weird how in a society that fosters the creation of some (to others) weird shit, you can be interested in that but be self-conscious of letting anyone else know it’s something you’re interested in.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jake Thomas Shaw and I fucking love ‘Shots’ by LMFAO.

I think a lot of people could do with letting loose of some of that shit that makes us nervous to show other people. Let me draw a clear line, things like fetishes and that are definitely not what I’m talking about. I’m definitely not talking about the truly depraved and immoral parts of society. I’m not representing Ted Bundy by saying ANYTHING that follows.

I’m talking about how I turn the volume down on my stereo when I’ve got anyone riding passenger and how I don’t show an awful lot of my stranger poetry outside of directly here. Guilty pleasures.

LMFAO is definitely one of mine. Silly, fucked up, stupid as hell fun music is what I like. And at the same time I’m not so into it that I’d own it if someone I really respected caught me blasting my stereo to “I’m In Miami, Bitch”. But I really actually honest to god like it! Maybe I should just let that be. It’s the danger in associate is what I’m afraid of.

I’ve never waxed political or said anything public that establishes anything that I could call my religious beliefs, because I think once I do something tying myself to a group I can automatically be associated with the best and the worst that group has to offer. Do I want to do that to myself?

Used to be, I thought it was cool to be atheist, and then I graduated middle school and realized that the world is a lot more nuanced. I was once a democrat, I think. Once again, I graduated middle school and quickly realized that that’s how I become a target to anyone else.

Go take a look on Reddit at r/The_Donald. No doubt full of people who genuinely believe in the sanctity of our current president, but also a haven for some incredible demonstrations of hypocrisy by false-flaggers and internal politics. Similarly, if you don’t support a Trump presidency, r/MarchAgainstTrump has you covered.

There is no middle ground. And if you haven’t picked a side, their dick waving competition still shows up on your feed somehow. It’s really intense how a vocal minority of extremists can overpower the collective voice of an entire ideology. I WONDER IF ANYONE ELSE HAS EVER FACED SUCH THINGS.

Fuck, I’m definitely not riding a high horse, but I doubt I could seriously improve my life situation if I gave away my Sundays to Sabbath or attended political events. Church is great for community reasons, and local politics is, too. But every organization ever, everything ever created is flawed because it was made by people. Some shit’s gonna go down somewhere, and I’m pretty comfortable if I can control when that happens.

I’ve only ever said I’m perfect in complete facetiousness, because as Red Vs. Blue has taught me, nobody is better at hating me than I am.

In this increasingly obscure world of genders decided by the individuals, a confederacy of dunces ruling the free world, and incredible religious paranoia, why the fuck would you ever feel comfortable picking a side? I’m asking that rhetorically, because I don’t think I could ever be convinced to be a part of anything that wasn’t already just a thousand of clones of me. Me and my army could get a lot of shit done, and probably a lot quicker than anything going on in a widely known group at the moment.

“Shut the fuck up” says Filthy Frank and his Pink Guy set, because seriously. Who cares? It’s all just a big joke.

This is where I expose a little more of my George Carlin influence and say I’m prepared to die at any fucking moment because I can maintain my own happiness. I haven’t met anyone else who could seriously say they’d be fine being t-boned while crossing a busy street like I do, routinely. I don’t need the lord, but I respect people who enjoy his presence. I don’t follow world politics nearly as closely as some people I know because I don’t need to.

As The Comedian in The Watchmen taught us, it’s all just a big joke. Who the hell really cares?

I try to wake up every day with moxie in my heart, and a legitimate desire to make the people around me laugh for whatever fucking reason they can. Why walk around with a bunch of bad juju hidden in your head?

“Remember when the music just felt so good? I don’t know where we went wrong. We’ve gotta bring back that feeling…”

Sure, I have goals I want to reach in what I have of my lifetime, but I am so happy generally that I’d be okay with that ending sooner than expected. I have tomorrow planned, and that’s it.

So my guilty pleasure is listening to LMFAO really fucking loud when I’m driving because it’s funny, it makes me feel good, and I know all the lyrics to “Sorry For Party Rocking”.

But I also understand that perhaps a matter of perspective says I’ve got it pretty good right now. I don’t know. Nobody is better at hating me than I am.

“Wintery haze
Of sneaking shards of silver
Hide in the air
As morning mist
To keep beasts at bay”

This excerpt above is from a poem I wrote yesterday titled “Lithium Autumn”, and it includes a stanza that is most likely one of the greatest things I have ever written. Pretty happy to see that one on the horizon.

Alright, I think that’s enough late night with Jake. Have a good evening everyone, and remember, pretty soon the Earth and the stars and everything will cease to exist entirely and none of this will have ever done anything ever!

That should be a statement of comfort. Go out and be you.

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