The Most Trouble I Ever Got Into (Unadulterated)

the most trouble i ever

So when I was in the first or second grade, I attempted multiple times to forge my mother’s signature. The reason I did this was because I was given a referral. Referrals at my elementary school were not a good thing. It was basically a referral to go talk to the principal. For some reason, I had done something so wrong as a youngling that I was given a god damn motherfucking referral. Fuck me, I didn’t even fucking know how to cunting curse yet, but look at me now! GIVE ME A REFERRAL NOW, TEACHER!

When you got a referral you had to get your parents to sign it, in order to show that they saw it. Makes sense! Sorta. Still don’t know what the fuck I did that was warranting a referral.

OH! I remember what I did, now. There was some asshole who was being an asshole, and to show that asshole 7 year old that he was being an asshole I threw a pebble at him.

Apparently, this counts as a full blown fucking rock in the eyes of San Bernardino school administrators, so I got the referral for it because said asshole went and told our teacher what had happened.

Fuck you, Jeremiah.

Yeah, I forged the shit out of my mom’s signature because I didn’t want anyone to know at home. Didn’t even feel guilty about it. I casually asked her how to spell her name and then wrote that out like I was writing it in her cursive handwriting. Unfortunately, it was the scrawl of a second grader. I think that’s what got me caught, in the end.

I knew my priorities, though. Tell that fucking teacher what she did to me and the misery of not having a week of computer privileges. I was super into Call of Duty 2, so yeah that was a big blow to me and my lifestyle.

Worst trouble I’ve ever gotten into to this day, I think. God dammit. Fucking tag was never so savage.

Published by Jake Thomas Shaw

Concerned with memory, currency, and destiny, I strive to capture each one as they happen. Join me and consume reality! Radio Reality. City!

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