More bullets won’t save you.

First date at the diner
Shot up.

Some stop at the corner
At a park in winter

Parked car in a lot
With friends,
A bandolier.

Sparks dying on the asphalt
When a cigarette left your hand.

Burn marks on your fingers
Hidden from your parents
When I dropped you off home.

Seeing movies in theaters near us.
Clutching sweaters gifted by bus.

Hope you like the coat
And boots I gave you
For Christmas.

Hope the behind my back
Was worth it to find

Someone else perfect for you
With burn marks on his fingers

Because he also didn’t know
How to even properly smoke,

Bragging about what he drank
Last night because he’s ‘hip’.

I saw his texts on your phone
When you left the room.

Saying nothing is the right thing
To do. I don’t tell you what
Friends you can have

But you know what I do?
I thought it’d be fair to assume
You loved me, too.

Why else would you
Invite me over?

It’s not like I’m good for fucking
If your exes are coming over.

It’s not like you can talk to me
When three weeks later you
Say “He went on a walk with me”.

So we’re done? That’s the excuse?
Said you were moving away soon
But now I don’t even think that’s true.

Had to be a fluke, I thought I knew
How to steer clear of ilk like you

But apparently I didn’t, and you know
What? I fell so hard my feet touched
Hell’s roof.

I wish I could regret the shit
You put me through. Every
Late night call at two

In the morning, trying to reassure
You that your nightmares of

Us splitting up would never happen.
I would’ve been foolish to think
That you’d let it happen.

So we’re done? That’s it?
Just another notch ticked
On the barrel of your gun?

Another pistol hung
Up, retired. Another bullet
Shot and disposed of like

The other five before me
That I had to even tolerate

Knowing were inside you.
I called you a liar after it ended,

But tell me,
would you have listened
To you

As long as I did?
And if I did, there must be

Another poor guy waiting
To get chambered.

I wish I could warn him,
But you know what else?

I hope that guy is the same one
Who also lies to his parents

And doesn’t even know what
The fuck to brag about…

You two are perfect for each other.

Published by Jake Thomas Shaw

Concerned with memory, currency, and destiny, I strive to capture each one as they happen. Join me and consume reality! Radio Reality. City!

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