It took so long to painstakingly
Choose what to carry
Into this moment

Hours upon hours of mental
Conditioning in preparation

It took no time to
Decide what to hold
For comfort

Clock ticking dully

Mere seconds upon seconds

For the door coming down
Windows shattering in

To feel the small star sting
Of a flashbang grenade
Sear my eyes

And watch my
Brothers die
From silent sights

Where all I can hear
Are the shouting men
And a cruel firefight

In my home
This sanctuary I could
Always come to

Crumbling to shambles
In few sets of seconds

Splintering wood
Imploding from drywall

Imagining the rimfire
Of a raider’s gun

And laughing
Machine gun

As they tear through our photos
Framed on the table beside me

More glass shattering
Cheap ceramic cups cracking
Under sonic tension

While I hide my ears
From the yelling and crying

Of my family on the ground
Somewhere near
Loud enough to clearly hear

Them beg and scream
While fluid on the floor
Below bodies stream

Wondering what horror I’ll see
When again
I can see

But before I can
My ears begin to ring

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